Dating while single and pregnant
If you're motivated, put on that learner's cap and dive in. Roberts says, "Trying to be good at everything will drive anyone crazy." If the task is beyond your skill or interest, call in favors from friends and family members.For the occasional leaky faucet, most people will be willing to lend a hand.As long as basic needs are met, and kids know that you are doing all you can, they can accept the reality."Dilemma: When I have a stressful day at work or with my toddler, I find myself complaining about it to my teenage daughter.I don't want to burden her, but it's hard not to confide in her when she's the only one there to listen. But when you share your emotional burdens with your kids you are asking them to carry the weight of your fears, or insecurities on top of their own.Solution: "Acknowledge that having two houses with different rules is confusing." Dr. To reduce confusion, he suggests making a list of behaviors that are okay and not okay for house in a family meeting.Have your kids help write the rules down and decide where to post them.Call a friend, join a single parent support group, look for single parent chat boards, or search for a activity in your area. "Keep a big calendar on the refrigerator to write everything down on, blocking out the time your kids are with your ex and noting all their activities," Dr. "It's also a good idea to e-mail your ex every Sunday with your understanding of the coming week's schedule.Everyone needs an emotional support system, but your child shouldn't be the one to provide that. "Accept that sometimes every parent is going to drop the ball," Dr. Keep it simple, as though you were sending a memo to a colleague." Or consider going digital and using an online calendar service such as Google Calendar that lets you create different calendars, share them with others, and allow multiple parties to add and delete events.
This means fewer cappuccinos and holding off on getting the latest phone model.Be cautious introducing any dates to your kids, Dr. "Meeting partners too early can cause kids unnecessary stress.Save their emotions for the true one, not a fleeting romance."Dilemma: I feel guilty that I couldn't make it work with my kid's father and I resort to trying to "buy" my child's forgiveness with trips and toys. Solution: "Using money or trips to get your child to like you will work temporarily and backfire later because your behavior has taught your child the wrong lessons," Dr. "Guilt is an emotion that is useful only if you figure out the root of the problem and then do something to resolve it." Consider talking with a friend or seeing a therapist to help you work through the guilt if it's too hard to move beyond on your own. Roberts says, "kids are resilient to divorce," and although they may like the gifts and trips at first, they'll wise up to the fact that you are trying to buy their love and forgiveness.Solution: "This can be a great opportunity to teach your kids to value simple pleasures in life over material things," says Carole Lieberman, M.
D., a psychiatrist and author in Beverly Hills, California.
"Admit to your kids that you need to tighten the belt a little, now that there's less money coming into the home." Make a point to do fun family activities that don't cost a lot--or any--money.